Criminal Life
by Poodie
Summary: In a world where Sai is a notorious criminal and Sasuke is the good guy trying to bring him in. A pinkette trying to make it through the criminal life while dodging a blonde fearless cop. Can the KPD bring in these two baddies who have joined forces? Or will everything go to shit. /Rated T for violence and cursing.


**Prologue**

 **A/N: Okay yay! I've finally started this project which (in every case) has been blogging my mind for a few weeks! It's really just a stupid little parody my brother and I came up with (more so my brother). This story is scheduled to have ten (10) chapters only, with prologue and epilogue included. This story by no means expresses my personal take on the characters, or how they would have been placed, their positions were chosen at random (except for a few who were deliberate) for the main purpose of making absolutely no sense and for comedy as this is a parody.**

 **Also note that since it is a parody, it has some pretty stupid content, including Kiba being able to understand Akamaru in a version of broken English… nobody else can do this crap XD**

 **Warning: The characters have potty mouths**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, please support the official release.**

 **XXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXX**

"I can't see them! Where the hell are these guys?!" Kiba yelled over the noise of his helicopter flying high in the sky as he searched the crowded-with-work-goers-who-have-no-life-outside-of-slaving-away-boo-hoo streets from above.

"Biba! Book bem bober bhere!" Akamaru –Kiba's dog and flying companion- barked and pushed against his window while partially pointing at a building down below.

"'Look them over there' you say?" he looked in the dog's direction.

"Akamaru," the pilot whined after noticing what the dog had been indicating, "That's a toy store! No toys!"

The dog frowned and folded his paws, growling in the process.

"Toy greedy mutt…" Kiba muttered and glared slightly.

They flew over more buildings a bit faster now, feeling the heat of the chase itching at their conscious. The people they were looking for seemed to be pretty damn good at hiding in broad daylight, and God was it annoying.

"I see him!" this was a third voice from within the aircraft, and it belonged to none other than Sasuke Uchiha -the scary-get-everything-done-without-too-much-care-because-he-is-emotionally-constipated cop- as his eyes scanned the roads below him, and he effortlessly found the culprits.

"Aha! Gotch ya' now!" Kiba smirked while spotting the car too, turning the helicopter to the right to better follow him, "Gaara, he's heading your way!"

"Uh huh…" from on the ground, Gaara –the-silent-creepy-as-hell- cop nodded, seeing the black audi r8 coming toward him as he readied his gun, only to start taking fire as he noticed an opening.

"Huh…" the driver of the car; Sai –the notorious-criminal-with-paper-white-skin-and-no-actual-emotions-to-get-constipated- expertly swerved his car as to avoid most of the bullets heading for his windshield, and also dodging the other cars that just happened to be in his way, trying to make his life a lot more difficult.

"I can't get him! He's swaying too much!" Gaara growled over the walkie-talkie, watching and glaring daggers as the car of target sped off down the road.

"Hm," Sai noted in satisfaction that the red headed cop stopped shooting at him.

The helicopter picked up as much speed as possible, continuing the chase from above.

"Kiba!" Sasuke started, "Take that short cut and get closer!" he leaned over the seats and pointed at the course between the two ridiculously tall buildings, that only the skill of his trusted pilot could take.

"Ay! Ay! Captain!" the aircraft quickly but carefully sped through the opening and Akamaru barked excitedly, some of his saliva splattering on his owner's face and distorting the smirk that had been there previously.

"Good, right here!" Sasuke eyed the scene before and quickly came with his responses.

"Wait! What the hell are you doing?!"

"I got 'em Temari!" he ignored Kiba's question as he prepared his parachute, staring down below, watching his target dodge cars and speed through red lights.

"Sasuke?" Gaara inquired while eyeing the helicopter from his place on the ground with curiosity and holding the walkie-talkie to his mouth, "you're not going to do that again are you?"

"Yup."

"You do realize that if you miss, you're going to die right," the red head was not entertained, and it showed on his features; emerald green eyes boring into the object within the sky as if he were watching his partner right in the face.

"That's just it," he positioned himself, "I'm not gonna miss!" and with that, the dark haired cop jumps out the air machine fearlessly with a smirk plastered on his handsome face.

"No! Dammit not again!" but the brunette pilot is too late, continuing his control through-out the air.

"Bool," Akamaru barks.

"Stop saying 'fool' Akamaru!" was all Sasuke heard as he fell through the sky. The skill of this cop ought to be illegal as he pulled the string of the parachute just in time to guide himself in the air far ahead of the car, only to cut the safety strings and land expertly –but hard too- on the roof with a loud THUD.

"Hm…" Sai looked up at the roof, almost immediately knowing what was going on above and reacts by furiously turning the steering wheel at all angles.

Sasuke pulls out his gun and starts shooting through the roof, having a bit of difficultly to actually aim with the rapid movement of the stupidly-fast-also-being-driven-by-a-stupid-fool car, who was currently breaking more than one law.

That's the eighth red light you car-j-walker!

"Uh…" the pale criminal sways the car swiftly, expression bored, "babe… I need your help."

"On my way!" the response came from over the walkie-talkie –which was banging against the door due to the movements- sitting next to Sai in the passenger seat.

Suddenly, a black rx8 flew around the turn on the left and slammed into Sai's car, grinding against it all while dodging the unnecessary traffic, almost causing Sasuke to fall off from his position on top, but he kept a firm grip on (what the hell is he holding) roof.

The pink haired driver of the other car pulls out a gun and aims directly at Sasuke, not hesitating to pull the trigger instantly after.

Luckily –for Sasuke- in the mayhem all the bullets missed him, but he slips off the car while leaning to the right in an attempt to not get hit and tumbles along the pavement as the cars take a sharp turn down toward a tunnel.

"Dammit!" Sasuke growls angrily.

"Thanks babe," Sai smiles as they pick up speed, heading to the tunnel under the bridge up ahead.

"Temari!" the dark haired cop yells over the walkie-talkie while running to get a car, "coming at you!"

"Got it," she steps out from the end of the tunnel with a gun pointed directly at the female driver, a smirk firmly placed on her tan face.

"Surprise bitch!" Temari pulls the trigger multiple times, several bullets firing at the tires of the rx8, popping the left one.

"Ah!" the car swerves to the side, losing balance and is sent flying through the air right above the fearless female cop, taking on massive damage at impact with the floor.

"SAKURA!" Sai -at the pace he was going- was unable to stop and drove right past the scene.

The sandy blonde haired cop strolls over to the totaled car, calm, cool and collected. She stoops down near the pink haired girl laying battered on the ground, the smell of gasoline thick in the lingering air.

"Why?" Temari starts with a bored but utterly disgusted facial expression, "you could have done something good in your gosh damn miserable life, and yet-"

"Go to hell!" the girl beneath her spat, an ice cold glare set, but it did nothing to spite the cop.

Getting up and walking away, intending to leave the girl to face charges once captured by the rest of the force, the blonde's response is curt.

"Only the people on the wrong side of the law go there."

Out of the corner of her eye, Temari sees the girl reach for a gun -that had probably fallen out of the car during all the tumbling- but with quick reflexes in the last second, spins around and takes fire.

BANG

"No!"

 **-5 MONTHS EARLIER-**

 **A/N: Well guys this is the prologue, meaning that it really is only a snippet of how this story (did I mention that this is a mini story?) is going to go. Hopefully I portrayed the humor and violence that it'll contain, and as you can see, it is placed in an AU where some peeps are good, and some are, 'bad' for lack of better term. Please take heed that this is a parody, and that I don't own anything (barely even the plot since it was really my brother who came up with this) oh and do take guesses of who is going to be good or bad! It'll be like a fun game!**

 **I was planning on pre-writing all ten of the chapters before even posting chapter one, but I thought to myself that since this is just a mini parody story, it wouldn't need all that preparation. And so, the updates will be a bit irregular.**

 **Leave a nice review!**


End file.
